It may be difficult to maintain all that sugar and spices in your relationship. We take care of the works and children and the infinite lists of homework, but according to experts, you get what you give when it comes to your relationship.
Being kind and loving regularly is one of the most important components of a healthy relationship, says Jacqueline Olds, MD, associated professor of clinical psychiatry at the Harvard Faculty of Medicine and co -author of Marriage in motion: natural reflux and the flow of lasting relationships.
“You want to practice the art of being loving instead of always waiting to see if the other person is being loving enough,” says Olds.
It is to love himself instead of waiting for his partner who makes a relationship feel more robust. Love is a practice, and to keep it as part of your relationship, you must participate in that practice.
Read more: Healthy and high quality relationships matter more than we think
Think in the long term
In modern times, we have the discomfort of having huge and extravagant weddings where we promise to love us forever in front of family and friends. But every time we have a great fight, we question the relationship and if we should be in it.
“It’s as if we hadn’t done this promise in front of a large group of witnesses,” says Olds.
Divorce should not be something that you consider every time you have a really bad fight because relationships flow and flow, and that is only part of life. Life is messy, and sometimes our relationships are so.
Having a strong sexual relationship is also useful, says Olds, because it is one of the few ways in which we can restart. The release of hormones such as oxytocin and vasopressin during sex is important to help, especially women, to feel more connected.
According Harvard Medicine School“Oxytocin, also known as the love hormone, causes feelings of satisfaction, calm and security, which are often associated with the union of couple.”
Other forms of intimacy are also important, such as taking hands and hugging in bed. “All these things are incredibly important, and have hormonal correlates that lead to feelings of well -being,” says Olds. With aging, as couples have less sex, they can maintain a great relationship through these other forms of intimacy.
Have fun even when life becomes more difficult
With all the seriousness and stress that can be part of daily life these days, their romantic partner must be their comfort at the end of the day, says Jaime Bronstein, a license and licensed relationship therapist and license relationship therapist and licensed author of Man*Ifesting.
“Your person should feel at home with you,” she says.
Avoid judging your partner and wait for them. This reduces the difficulties of relationships such as resentment and contempt. “It does not mean that your partner is perfect because two imperfect people can be perfect for each other,” says Bronstein. “But it is difficult to be connected if you are constantly judging someone.”
Keep fresh things when you go to appointments to new places. Not only goes to the same restaurants, choose new places with menus that you have not explored, says Bronstein. If you like to walk together, choose a new route that you normally do.
Stay curious about each other and his life together keeps exciting things even after years of marriage. He may think that he knows everything about his spouse, but he doesn’t, so he keeps asking questions and continues to listen to the answers.
Olds says he must also establish limits with his children. They should not be all the time or get in their bed early in the morning. Children used to play together out of view of their parents so that parents had time together. And it is this precious time alone to connect and water the plant that is its relationship.
Read more: Why are we addicted to love?
Article sources:
Our writers in Discovermagazine.com Use studies reviewed by pairs and high quality sources for our articles, and our editors review to obtain scientific precision and editorial standards. Check the sources used below for this article:
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Harvard Medical School. Love and brain
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Jaime Bronstein, License Relationship Therapist and Author of Man*Ifesting
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Jacqueline Olds, MD, associated professor of Clinical Psychiatry at the Harvard Faculty of Medicine and Marriage Co -author in motion: the natural flow and the flow of lasting relations
Sara Novak is a scientific journalist based in South Carolina. In addition to writing for Discover, his work appears in Scientific American, Popular Science, New Scientist, Sierra Magazine, Astronomy Magazine and many more. He graduated with a degree in journalism from the Gray School of Journalism at the University of Georgia. She is also a candidate for a mastery in scientific writing at Johns Hopkins University (expected graduation 2023).
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